Carl Smith says there’s never a shortage of people telling school and college leaders how to do their jobs. Here, he shares some advice on how not to be a head.

Do it 'your way'

Headteachers are like Frank Sinatra; they prefer to do it ‘their way’. Not that there is ever a shortage of people telling them what their way should be. Ofsted, the DfE, parents, social media and even the odd Year 9 has more than enough say on the matter.

So how about some advice on how not to be a head? A subject on which I am particularly well qualified. The anti-guide to school leadership if you like.

My first piece of advice is to be as inauthentic as possible. No good will come of acting like a normal person, whatever that is when it's at home, which in the case of a headteacher isn’t very often anyway. It is far better to be a complete fraud and keep yourself to yourself so no-one can ever spot your weaknesses. Who wants a headteacher with weaknesses for goodness sake? Fake it till you make it, that’s what I say.

Next, I suggest surrounding yourself with sycophants. No good will come of having people around that might disagree with you from time to time. We all like a bit of flattery, so why not encourage it? It is far better to lap up the applause and go home with a spring in your step. There's nothing like a bit of bowing and scraping to put a smile on your face. Don’t say it to my face is my motto.

Please yourself

If that’s not your thing, how about being a people pleaser? No good will come of doing unpopular things, so don’t. Go for the superficial and prioritise appearance over substance every time. Never mind that the whole thing is just there for show and makes no actual difference to anything. As long as it keeps the right people off your back that’s fine. Of course, the wrong people are neither here nor there, and by wrong, I mean people who can’t make your life difficult. Figure out who you need to impress and ‘go dazzle’.

If all that seems like too much hard work, how about staying in your office as much as you can, or even at home if you prefer? After all, you’re the boss, so why not give yourself the perks. It might be worth studying the dark arts of being too important to actually do the job first. I recommend having lots of meetings and going to plenty of conferences where you can mix with lots of other people who are also avoiding work. Meanwhile, let your staff do the ‘easy jobs’ of dealing with parents, poor behaviour, teaching, policing the toilets, that sort of thing. Who wants that when there are important papers to write?

Ah, but you’d lose their respect I hear you cry. So how about you go the opposite way and try to work harder than anyone else? Be the first in and last out every night, just so the staff know you work harder than they do. Give your partner some independence by working through every evening, weekend and holiday. Get up at 5am, write 20 emails and still be there at the gates when the premises officer arrives.

This is an old favourite, much beloved of school leaders everywhere. The harder you work, the more you get done, right? You might not get invited to many parties, but then who wants a social life? The advert said you needed to be dynamic and dedicated, so why not dedicate your entire life. Make sure you never stop, never switch off and never think about anything else. Don’t expect thanks or appreciation either, that’s for lightweights.

Or you can just completely ignore all my advice and let the record show, you took the blows and did it yooooouuurrrrrrrrrr way!

Carl Smith is Principal at Casterton College Rutland (CCR)

Want the last word?

Last Word always welcomes contributions from members. If you’d like to share your humorous observations of school life, email Permjit Mann at leader@ascl.org.uk ASCL offers a modest honorarium.

Designed with IMPACT

© 2025 Association of School and College Leaders | Valid XHTML | Contact us