Token awards.

When there are market forces at work in school and the wider community, you need to bring your inner-entrepreneur to the fore, says Carl Sugden.

"My dad, who knew nothing about education but had worked as a builder in a lot of schools, gave me just one piece of advice when I went into teaching: “Lad, I know nowt about learning, but stay on good terms with the caretaker, the cook and the secretary and you’ll be all right.”

He was right, of course.

So, if you are the owner of a bookshop, for example, you might think the obvious people to keep sweet would be the librarian at the local secondary school and the person who deals with the invoices there.

In our town there are two bookshops. The owner of one was unspeakably rude to our finance officer and he wasn’t our librarian’s best friend, either.

So when we gave out our annual £2,000 worth of book prizes to students this year, someone in the organisation decided to do business with the other bookshop. That seemed fair enough to me. We also had the foresight to put on the letter to parents – as well as on the actual book tokens – in precisely which bookshop they were valid.

Imagine taking a phone call from the angry parent following the book prizes being awarded. (I have inserted what I would have liked to have said rather than, in the interests of diplomacy, what I did actually say.)

Parent “I’d like to complain about the owner of the bookshop. We took your token in there and he was unspeakably rude and was swearing at me about how much business he’d lost.”

Me “Ah yes, well he’s rude to everyone, you see. That’s why we decided not to use his bookstore for our prizes this year. Just a small point, but he’s not one of our staff.”

Parent “Well, anyway he was very rude and it’s your fault. You should not have put parents in that position.”

Me “I see. Well, I understand that he’s cross about losing the business but it does say very clearly on the letter in which bookshop the token was valid.”

Parent “Yes, but you can’t expect me to read that. Anyway, my daughter had a token last year and I just went back to the same bookshop.”

Me “I see, so just to recap. We have rewarded your daughter with a book token for her hard work and effort and invested £2,000 of school funds into prizes, clearly stating where to cash this in. You went to the wrong shop and had an altercation with a man over whom I have absolutely no influence or control and this is somehow my fault?”

I lost that one.

However the opportunity to redeem myself came when my PA popped her head round the door with more news from the business community.

“The local superstore has stopped selling bottle green tights. The only other ones available in town are three times as expensive. The mothers of the school have started a Facebook page wanting to change the uniform.”

I replied: “Wouldn’t it be easier to keep the uniform the same and source the tights ourselves? Can you get Pretty Polly on the phone?”

That same afternoon, 1,000 pairs of bottle green tights arrived in school, obtained by our very own finance office. They’re selling out already and the Facebook page has evaporated. Cue another frustrated local retailer!

Feeling pleased with my business acumen, I went off to County Hall to chair the schools forum and deal with a £300 million budget.

It’s nice and quiet sitting in the grand committee room at County Hall scrutinising the figures but it’s dealing with bottle green tights and bookshops that really gives you something to talk about over dinner.

• Carl Sugden is head of a school in North Yorkshire.

Want the last word?

Last Word always welcomes contributions from members. If you’d like to share your humorous observations of school life, email Sara Gadzik at leader@ascl.org.uk ASCL offers a modest honorarium.

Designed with IMPACT

© 2024 Association of School and College Leaders | Valid XHTML | Contact us