September 2012

The know zone

  • Field of dreams
    The DfE's Olympic call for more sport in state schools – coinciding with the relaxing of regulations for school sport accommodation – has left the sport lobby up in arms. Richard Bird examines the potential legal impact... More
  • Say a little prayer...
    The government is ploughing ahead with its plans to reform school funding but what exactly will these changes be and how will they affect schools? Sam Ellis explains the many complexities of these proposals and looks at what they will mean for schools. More
  • Lead vocals
    Quotes from Henry Brook Adams, Margaret Meade, Victor Hugo and Donald Quinn More
  • Prince of tides
    Anthony Smith is executive head of Hipperholme and Lightcliffe High School (HLHS) on the outskirts of Halifax as well as the Fountain Springs Day Nursery and Maltings College which are based in a Grade II listed former brewery in the town. Next summer, he is swimming the Channel for Cancer Research UK. More
  • Learning Aid
    ProTrainings' first aid course helps students understand the fundamental principles of first aid and gives them the confidence to act in an emergency. More
  • Adding value
    Getting the best from your staff More
  • Reformed views
    Are GCSEs in need of reform or are they fit for purpose? The government is planning major reform to GCSEs that could lead to a return to O level-style qualifications and could give a single exam board responsibility for each subject. Here, leaders share their own views. More
  • Leaders' surgery
    Advice on Ofsted and Portable CRB checks? More
  • Grade inflation not just hot air
    ASCL's last Council meeting, on 21-22 June, took place well before GCSE results day. However, concerns about the future of exams and accusations of grade inflation were already high on the agenda. More
  • Weather the storm
    This year's English GCSE grading fiasco signals the beginning of a tempest of reform to curriculum and assessment. Brian Lightman sets out what is known so far – and more importantly what is not. More
  • Mr Gove
    The talk in Westminster has been of a re-shuffle and the name Gove has been much to the fore. So what might he do next? Peter Campling explores the possibilities. More
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The talk in Westminster has been of a re-shuffle and the name Gove has been much to the fore. So what might he do next? Peter Campling explores the possibilities.

Mr Gove

Michael Gove's two and a half years as secretary of state for education already exceeds the average length for this office and his impact so far has been significant. We can all agree on that.

So were he to move to bigger things, what next for Michael? Which ministry could most benefit from his particular skills and the experience he has gained in education?

If David Cameron were feeling a little wary of Gove's popularity, especially on the right wing of the party, and may decide that a thankless sideways move to health or defence would be the best thing for his friend.

At Culture, Media and Sport, Gove could be seen as just the hard nosed, back-to-realism minister they need to get to grips with the recent problem of medal inflation following Team GB's Olympics results.

In health, Gove would waste no time in telling doctors what they should be treating their patients with, just as he has been confidently telling teachers what they should be teaching. His penchant for obscure 19th century poets may bode better for apothecaries than those practicing modern medicine, but at least not all would be affected. Those working in primary health trusts or private medicine would of course be immune from 'national' regulations.

Defence might be more Gove's area, as he would be able to quickly finance new regiments, set up and run by parents and well-wishers. These would be known as 'Free Regiments'. Their inexperience would not matter as they would be deployed in areas where there were no wars and they weren't actually needed.

More traditional regiments, struggling along in actual war zones, may need to be cut back or even closed down, but their morale would be boosted by being sent a free copy of the St James' Bible.

Gove's idea of 'Troops to Teachers' could be replicated at the Ministry of Defence with the introduction of 'Teachers to Troops'. This would have the double benefit of increasing troop numbers with professional people who really understand GCSE syllabuses, assessment for learning and other essentials, whilst also speeding up capability procedures for underperforming teachers by sending them to war zones.

If Cameron saw Gove as more of an asset than a threat, then he may be in line for a promotion to one of the big three. Foreign Secretary Gove could be a winner. He clearly has a liking for foreign secretary-type subjects like history, geography and languages and his preference for Biblical Hebrew over most 21st century GCSEs could position him nicely for sorting out problems in the Middle East.

He could also comfortably keep to the foreign secretary tradition of using international reports and comparisons selectively. After all, 'sexing up' the existence of weapons of mass destruction requires the cherry-picking of bits of information from international data that appears to back government policies.

Home Secretary Gove would quickly get stuck into anti-social behaviour, riots and the penal system by borrowing from his experience of dealing with behaviour in schools – talk a lot about it, greatly exaggerate the problems and then do very little. Social mobility would continue to be on his radar, though he could relax in the knowledge that he had already largely cracked this issue through his introduction of the English Baccalaureate.

Chancellor of the Exchequer Gove could work, as he would have no qualms about making quick and drastic cuts to public spending. His record on this is impeccable given the time it took him to cut Building Schools for the Future, one of the most significant capital investment programmes in public education – about five minutes. No doubt he will have learnt from past mistakes – including most recently the number of playing fields sold – and read from the correct list when announcing the cuts to be made.

He would also be expected to get some order into the nation's financial institutions. Perhaps this is where he could bring over his pal from education, Sir Michael 'Pale Rider' Wilshaw to head up the Financial Services Authority and really start holding those banks to account. Now, come to think of it...

  • Peter Campling is a headteacher in London

Want the last word?

Last Word always welcomes contributions from members. If you'd like to share your humorous observations of school life, email Sara Gadzik at leader@ascl.org.uk ASCL offers a modest honorarium.

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